Outlook

Wow it has been a crazy last few weeks but God has been teaching me SO much and I really have gotten a new outlook on life.

For quite a while I've been so fearful. It's something I always have struggled with. Fear that I'm not going to be enough. Fear that I'll turn into this horrible person. Fear that I'll fall away. Fear that I won't stand out in my faith. Fear that I won't have a future. Fear that I'll die before I have a chance to really live. But I've come to the conclusion that simply, I have no control over certain things. Satan is trying to put fear in me that simply isn't real. I saw an acronym that Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. This is so true! The spirit of fear is not of God. There should be no fear in death because death means being able to spend eternity with the lover of our souls.

Last week my grandfather died. I wasn't that close to him, in fact I hadn't seen him in about 10 years. My grandparents divorced over 25 years ago and I am alot closer to my step grandfather so to be honest it wasn't that difficult of a loss. The saddest thing to me though was that the last 4 years of my grandfather's life was spent in a nursing home alone. I haven't heard the most positive things about him throughout my life so it was almost like their was this stigma attached to his name. When my family members came into town for the service it was almost like this image that I've had of him started to change. I started to hear stories of how he taught my dad and aunt and uncles how to swim and how to drive. I started to hear of how when he walked into a room it lit up. I heard stories from his childhood and how he always gave his sisters a hard time. My uncle had converted 16mm film from his life into a dvd. I was able to see footage from his days in the navy, from my grandparents wedding 50 years ago, and even of his early days as a father. I guess overall it made me wish I'd have known him better and I started to see how much he had impacted my family members. It made me appreciate my father so much more and let me have a new perspective on how much God has blessed me. I pray to this day that I will be able to see my Grandpa Buzz again in heaven and that I can tell my kids the things I've learned about him. Our lineage is something that, whether positive or negative, God has given us to learn from. My grandfather might of made some mistakes in his life but he was a great father to my father and that is truly a blessing.

Bottom line is that death gives you a new perspective on life. If you let Satan torment you with the fear of death it's just keeping you from living. All we can do is live life to the glory of Christ. The ride will be amazing and the end result is a happily ever after with Christ in Heaven.

Keep on Pursuing Him in all that you say and do.

Always in His Hands,

Abbie

Rest in Peace

Maurice Carroll Walters, Jr. ("Buzz")

December 21, 1934- February 10,2010